Sunday, April 23, 2006

All the Details That Didn't Make It To The Confessional

One of my new favorite girlfiends, Erica and I have been celebrating our last weekend of freedom. Starting tomorrow at 7am, we report at Golden Gate Park for Boot Camp. Boot Camp sounded like a fine idea last month, before I took on raw food, no alcohol and all things...bland.

We started our weekend a day early- Thursday- at Tongue and Groove on Van Ness. The band, Leopold and His Fiction was fantastic and the place was packed. Afterwards, Daniel and Ben, of LAHF and I talked about their last gig at the Fillmore. Erica was two shots and three beers to the wind, and I was chatty and speaking very clearly with college-age spelling bee words- thanks to my bottle of, purified water. Great- and greater that the bouncer bum-rushed the bar, threw a lemon at the solo drunk bartender and bought it for me. Nothing like a sober damsel in distress.

I took a cab five blocks, thanks to a new pair of heels that only accessorize well with clear liquids of the water variety and not vodka. Home, I fell into my bed and crashed before I could take off my favorite bracelet. It left a mark the next morning. On my face.

Friday I had dinner with Dana at Whole Foods. She's on an all meat diet, and I'm on a no meat diet. So we just stare at each other's food and pretend we're perfectly satiated with what we're eating. I ran into my old spin instructor, Mike, and I had all of these thoughts about how he must think I'm a slacker for not showing up for class, or I've gotten fat, or my hair looks...whatev. But I overheard him tell his friend, "that girl is so nice" and that made my day.

Later, I met up with Erica, Peter, Peter's brother Josh and his new girlfriend. Jared was playing solo somewhere between the city and the ocean in the Richmond and we invented ourselves a parking spot for the occasion. Unfortunately, Fridays are my treatment days, and a half hour into his set, I had to go home and sleep. But I had one of Jared's new songs stuck in my head and that made passing out in pain all the easier.

Saturday was wasted getting my hair blonde. It takes three hours with aluminum wrapped around my head. The aluminum doesn't look as bad as the heavy metal sounds in the salon with red walls. It's a hip place in the Lower Haight I hate. I return for Lisa, who mixes a perfect blonde, and knows me in chronological order, according to boyfriend, job, apartment, illness, travel and diet. It's worth pretending I'm hip, to hate the salon, and keep my stylist.

After a shot of wheatgrass, some spirulina and new blonde highlights I went to the beach with Erica and her dog, Crackerjack. I call her dog Sweetpea, and she still answers. If I had a dog, I'd name her Happy. That's what I was thinking about while I was talking about one of my exes, walking on the beach, with a backdrop of the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge.

Erica and I met up with my girlfriend Julie and her friend Jessica at Saffron, a fashion show in the Mission. It was a wine and cheese event with lots of clothes sizes 0-4. I ran into the designer from Minnie Wilde, and we talked Veganism. She showed me her new leather handbag and we decided it was so beautiful, it was worth the compromised morals it took her to buy it. We headed over to Ti Couz for salads and sat outside it was such a beautiful night. After seeing Julie and Jessica off on BART, Erica and I went bar-hopping for a bathroom. I had to pee. The line at Delirium was nine women long, and we got kicked out of Hamburger Kelly's for not buying a three dollar bottle of water just to use the pisser. Hello? What do you think got us on a hunt for a bathroom in the first place?

We ended up in the no-line, bitchily-butch-bartended Cama. No line, and about four super hot straight guys. Super hot straight guy told me he belonged to a European boy band ten years ago, and was now moving on. He had a face that looked like he once modeled. For Sears. Underwear section. But that now he could just as easily model for the picture that goes next to the houses he'll be selling once he gets his real estate license.

Fortunately, he moved on, to Veneer-Tooth Tanorexic lady and that just left the other Super hot straight guy, who bought Erica and I a drink. That's right, I had a martinilicious drink called Pillow Talk. If I'm gonna fall off the wagon, I want to land on a drink that has a pillow and some talk involved. We met a comedian doorman who claimed to have written 80% of the 90's hit Swingers, and was a skate rat with Jason Lee, back in the day. He also had an orange scarf, which he said he knitted himself. Uh, hey guy, some hobbies are best kept to yourself.

The weekend ended with some shopping, writing and making some soup involving asparagus which eventually was best served to the compost pile. So the next time you need soil for your garden, stop on by.

Maybe I should take on knitting scarves. For Boot Camp survivors.

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