I'm a Yoga Dropout

Renee and I walked to yoga today at the rock climbing gym. There's hills out here. The last thing I wanted to do after hiking to the gym was the downward dog.

Yoga hurts. Don't let them lie to you through the smoke and incense. Joints snap, tendons burn. I felt like a retard because I couldn't pretzel my leg behind my back while looking to the sky. Don't carnie rats get PAID to do this for a crowd?

In yoga, it's hard to know when the class will actually...end. There's no marker, like a set of jumping jacks, where you say, alright halfway done. It's just stretching, then more stretching. It sounds cheesy, I hear that yoga makes you more connected to your body. (I dated a guy who said he didn't cry when his mother died, but he once broke down in a yoga class.)

On the walk home, I thought maybe if I watched really sad movies while doing the child pose or hanging out on my yoga ball, it might be the same thing.